Have you been suspicious of your spouse cheating on you, lately? They said a marriage is built in heaven. But, the foundation of a happy marriage is built upon mutual understanding and trust, and a spouse that cheats, betrayed the trust that acts as the foundation for your marriage.
If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, but can’t really tell, you’ll probably be at a lost as to what you should do to find out the truth. Your mind would be pre-occupied with many questions but with no answers. If you’re in such a ‘Catch-22′ situation, you may be interested to find out the signs that tell your spouse could be cheating.
You need to take cognizant that some of the signs can also be symptoms of problems unrelated to infidelity; but if your spouse exhibits more of these signs, then you should be suspicious.
- Your spouse seems bored with his job, hobbies and lifestyle as well as seems pre-occupied with his own thoughts.
- Your spouse, out of a sudden, seems attracted to a different lifestyle involving excitements and adventures.
- You notice that the intimacy between the 2 of you has gone south as your spouse often refused to have sex with you.
- Your spouse shows signs of low self-esteem and self-confidence.
- You find it tough to communicate because your spouse no longer opens up to you. More often than not, you’ll get monosyllable answers to your questions.
- If you bring up the issue of infidelity, your spouse becomes defensive or in total denial.
- Your spouse suddenly starts to show you more attention than usual – probably out of guilty conscience.
- Your spouse seems to put in longer hours at work than usual.
- Your spouse is paying more attention to his or her appearance than usual.
- Your spouse is spending more money than usual and is keeping the expenditure details from you. If you’ve the opportunity, secretly go through his credit card statements to look out for any “abnormal” charges, to say, exclusive dinners for two or even hotel stays.
- Your spouse no longer gives priority to family events, like birthdays and get-together with extended families.
- You can tell your spouse isn’t telling the truth on certain things and at time may give contradicting account.
- Your spouse suddenly no longer likes going out with you to no matter anywhere but often make excuses to go out alone.
- Your spouse appears distant to you in feelings and thoughts.
What do you do if many signs are exhibited to raise your suspicious of your spouse cheating on you?
If your spouse, had shown many of the signs outlined above, you’ll first, need to take cognizant that there could be other problems associated with these. In fact, you’re still unable to tell for certain that it is infidelity on your spouse’s part, or it could be due to some other things. While these thoughts are playing havoc in your mind, it’s important that you remain as compose as possible and not to jump into conclusion as yet.
If it’s proven that your spouse has indeed been cheating on you, go through the below strategies which may be of help to you:
1. Recognize that it isn’t your fault. If your spouse had chosen that “extra” physical and emotional intimacy through having an affair outside of the marriage, don’t blame yourself for it.
2. Recognize that infidelity may be reversible. Don’t give up on the marriage as yet, have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse to find the actual reasons that led to the infidelity. Once, the reasons are established, don’t throw any accusation on to your spouse, but try to resolve them amicably. Of course, things may not work out the way you wanted and you may decide on divorce as the last option, but bear in mind that reconciliation is still a possibility, especially in cases where you both already have kids.
3. Both your spouse and you deserve a happy marriage. When the trust in a marriage has been breached, regaining that trust towards your spouse can be difficult. But, it’s by no mean, not impossible if both your spouse and you are willing to let go of the past and work together to start all over again. Give it your best shot irrespective of the end result.
4. Confront your spouse. If you’ve evidences that your spouse has been cheating on you, the direct approach is to just confront your spouse with the evidences you’re holding. Cut out the shouting and cursing, give your spouse the chance to talk, then listen attentively, and observe your spouse’s reactions. If your spouse’s reactions indicate remorse and sorry, there is a fighting chance that the both of you may be able to work along the line of reconciliation. If your spouse readily admits to every thing and asked for a divorce instead, then it is obvious that this is what your spouse had wanted all along, and divorce may be your only option. Be honest with yourself, and accept that the marriage is no longer worth saving, as your spouse’s heart is no longer with you. Take console that you may be better off without him or her.
5. Seek help. Confide in family members or close friends who have better knowledge in marriage relationship, or seek professional counseling. If you’ve decided to confront this issue, don’t do it alone, but get the support from the people that are close to you.
No doubt, infidelity may put an end to your marriage, but it can also change the path of your life in manner that may come as blessing in disguise for you. For instance, through it, you’ll find out what’s not right in your marriage relationship and get it mended in time – as the saying goes, a stitch in time saved nine. Rest assured that after going through this, your marriage would emerge stronger than ever before.